If you're an electrician it's an infinite source or sink for charge, which can absorb an unlimited amount of current without changing its potential. Or... what that third seemingly useless prong on an electrical cord is for.
If you're a teenager it's not being allowed to leave your bedroom, except to go to church or the dentist, because, well, you screwed up big time...
If you're a psychic medium it's centering your soul in your body. It's bringing yourself back down to earth. It's having a really good grip on yourself, your body, your thoughts and emotions.
Grounding simply put is getting your shit together.
There are many many ways to ground yourself, including:
...to name a few.
I'm sure you can figure out the ones on that list above that I would recommend and the ones that I wouldn't. I've included the wouldn'ts because those are very real things that some people do in order to ground themselves - things like smoking or putting on extra weight or binge eating. These things help to bring them back into their bodies and into the present moment. They are less conscious, healthy, well thought out actions but they do the trick.
Obviously there are way better ways. (Truth be told, I do like to ground myself by eating a plate of spaghetti every now and then...)
Grounding is, of course, very important when you do psychic or mediumship work.
When you've been working with spirit you tip your scales with an excess of spiritual energy. This can leave you feeling spaced out, ungrounded and not quite fully in your body.
Physical grounding comes in very handy here and involves taking actions that bring you back in touch with your body, re-balance your physical and spiritual energies and bring yourself back down to earth.
Some great ways to ground yourself include:
Another quick and easy two step way to ground yourself is to 1) stand with your feel planted firmly on the ground while 2) visualizing (or hearing, feeling) roots growing from the bottom of your feet deep into the earth.
This is a wonderful practice to engage in after you have done any work with the energy fields of others or with spirit.
You can also do this any time that you feel spaced out, shaky, weak in your energy, not in the present, out of your body or generally out of balance.
These two steps are so simple that they can be done anywhere at anytime.
I usually need to ground myself before I go into a large public shopping space. If I so much as enter a crowded space without grounding myself beforehand I can easily get caught up in the whirl of energies around me, quickly lose my focus and even become dizzy and confused. So before I go into this kind of space I do the above visualization.
Some folks lose their focus when they get together with certain other people, often at large family gatherings, for example.
Think about where, when and with whom you tend to feel ungrounded and resolve to do these two simple grounding steps before going to these places or being with the people around whom you feel off balance.
Grounding also involves another very important component, which I refer to as:
Soul grounding is all about knowing who you are and feeling confident and centered in that knowing.
It is about grounding your timeless, eternal soul into your life.
It's about getting your spiritual shit together.
You do this by developing positive habits that honor your spirit and bolster your positive energy so that you are able to send that out and receive it back from spirit, those around you and the rest of the world while, at the same time, being all that you came here to be and honoring your unique path in this life.
In my opinion soul grounding is the most important kind of grounding that there is. The more that you focus and commit to this type of grounding, the less you eventually need to practice the physical grounding techniques that I've described above. Why? Because you'll eventually reside regularly in a natural state of groundedness.
Soul grounding focuses on:
When we become entangled in negative attachments, worry, envy and less than positive thoughts and habits we riddle ourselves both physically and spiritually with excess negative energy. This causes us to become ungrounded and disconnected from our souls and all that is good for us on our path.
For me soul grounding involves bringing present moment awareness and vigilance to these five guiding principles in my life and practicing them daily:
1. Living in my truth and being honest to both myself, and others.
2. Getting to know my own spirit and allowing my spirit’s voice to express itself in my life
3. Spending time with others who lift my spirit and encourage me to be who I am.
4. Letting go of relationships and connections that drain my energy or do not serve my spirit or path in the highest and best way.
5. Replacing worry, judgment, jealousy and feelings of lack or scarcity with trust, acceptance and gratitude for the abundance in my life.
When I bring my awareness constantly back to doing these five things I build up the positive energy in my life that fortifies and supports me and contributes positively to others around me.
When I focus on bolstering my positive energy I become impermeable to the negative.
When I get to know myself, I am grounded in the best possible way that I can be. There is not a thing that can shake me from the truth of who I am.
This, my friends, is what grounding is truly all about.
Choosing to live consciously and authentically, honoring the calling of your soul, getting to know your own spirit, living in your truth (even in the face of everything that the world might toss at you) and putting positive energy out into the world, means that you are always coming back to YOU.
It means you have your shit together.
There is no higher nor better way to ground yourself than this.
Mediumship burnout. It happens.
Not only are you as a medium dealing with the spirit world, which takes a tremendous amount of energy, you are also interacting with other human beings who are often in the midst of the grieving process or in some kind of personal turmoil, which is the usually the reason that they have come to have a session with you. Being in the presence of others in a state of turmoil or grief takes a tremendous amount of energy.
If you don't adopt sound strategies for dealing with all of this, mediumship burnout can and likely will happen to you at some point.
Mediums by their very nature are over-givers. It's why many of you have a hard time maintaining healthy boundaries and practicing a good regimen of self care. You are so busy caring for others you barely even consider that you need to do anything for yourself.
Case in point: Me. Writing this article. It's Friday afternoon and I've got to have this darn thing done so I can send it out in my weekly newsletter on Sunday. Which really happens on Saturday behind the scenes. I have had a crazy overly busy several months that shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon and so I haven't gotten around to writing this article until today. And... I'm tired.
So I push push push... I've got to get this article written or my readers will not have an article in their inbox on Sunday. Got to stay with it...
Then I read back what I've written so far. I YAWN and then yawn again because I'm so frickin tired. I want to relax and have a bath with my favorite essential oils but it's only 12:30 pm and I can't just stop in the middle of an article that I am trying to finish to do something so frivolous as having a bath in the middle of the day....
The Symptoms of Mediumship Burnout:
Mediumship burnout can manifest through the appearance of a number of symptoms including:
Mediumship burnout is not limited to only those people who do client readings. It can happen to folks who are on the mediumship development journey though not yet practicing professionally as well.
How then does a developing or practicing medium smooth out her potentially bumpy road so as to steer clear of burnout?
1. Stop overdoing it
How many readings can you comfortably do in a day? At which point do you feel over extended or that you are overdoing it?
That answer to this question is entirely your own. You don't need to worry about keeping pace with another medium's daily readings numbers pace. If one reading a day is all that you feel comfortable, whole and healthy doing then so be it. I say hurrah for you for figuring that out.
If you are doing more readings than you feel comfortable with then... do less. Stop overdoing it.
The same goes for you folks who are in the midst of your development journey. I have interacted with many learning mediums who simply overdo and over extend themselves thinking it will do them good. Thinking that they are supposed to do that.
They meditate for hours a day, attend every development circle they can find, pile on classes and workshops plus make sure they have researched then acquired the latest tarot deck to add to their ever growing collection which now stands at 29 and then rush off to the local gemstone emporium to make sure they have the most recent recommended crystals to open their chakras, their third eye, and...
Did you get tired just reading those last two paragraphs because I sure got tired writing them.
Those same novice mediums then write me to ask why they are not getting anything from spirit. Why it seems that their gifts have up and disappeared.
You don't need to do it all, have it all, read it all, go to it all. Pacing is important on the mediumship development journey. If you're doing it all and then find that your gifts seem to have up and left you stranded your guides are telling you something.
And that is 'stop overdoing it..."
(And why am I including tarot deck hyper-accumulation and crystal hording in all of this. Because... energy baby. That all holds the energy of overdoing it. )
2. Focus on the joyful aspects of mediumship not just on your progress.
Ok so why the heck are you doing this anyway? Hopefully because to is a joyful path is at least part of your reason for being a medium.
Not everyone gets to do what you do. Being an advocate for the spirit world is wondrous and joyful work. When I am finished a reading for someone I celebrate the fact that I met and got to connect with their friends and family - in the spirit world of course - as well.
How cool is that??
Reconnect with this joyful aspect of mediumship everyday.
Pssst... If you don't feel this way about your mediumship then perhaps it's time for a change...?)
3. Eat well. Get good sleep. Exercise.
Ok I admit that I'm pretty damn bad at this one.
I do get good sleep - mostly because I can't keep my eyes open at the end of the day - but also because I know and honor that it 's good for me. Especially with the pace that I have to keep some days.
But I do have a tendency to indulge my less than positive food cravings and eat things that I shouldn't. When I self correct and eat better I notice a big fat difference in how I feel overall. You are what you eat.
I also sit at my desk for extraordinarily long periods of time. My ass gets sore and I end up feeling like crap. I get it into my head that if I'm not sitting at my desk teaching, writing and doing sessions, then I'm not working and... I should be working.
You too? Yeah, I thought so.
I have found that if I tear myself away from my desk and go do only 5 minutes of gentle yoga I am ready to go again and I feel so much better!
So whatever all of this means for you do it. Eat better if you need to (and you probably do...), hydrate by drinking delicious teas or water, get good rest and do a little exercise, some yoga, take a short walk, do some qi gong, whatever feels good to you.
(off to do 5 minutes of yoga now...)
(ok I did some yoga - 10 minutes! - and I'm back - feeling much better I might add...!)
4. Take down time doing something other than the things involved in doing or learning mediumship.
When you are on this journey you don't have to be all focused on all mediumship all the time.
That leads to burnout...
Make sure that you include doing other things that you enjoy in each day. Take mini sabbaticals from all things mediumship. I find that people learning mediumship will put the other things that they enjoy doing on the shelf so that they can put ALL theIr focus ONLY on mediumship.
Take a mini sabbatical from your mediumship every day.
Thank you. :)
5. Measure your growth by looking backward rather than forward.
You're on the journey and you want to get better at your mediumship. That is totally natural, normal and noble.
However, when you put your focus on where you're not at or dwell on what you haven't achieved in your mediumship you start a big slide down a slippery slope pretty damn fast. You overwhelm yourself with pressure and thoughts of failure.
Instead take a look backwards. When you reflect back on where you were when you were starting out you get to see how far you have actually come as a medium. It makes where you are now something pretty special. And it should, because it is!
You get to celebrate your growth rather than moan and berate yourself for what you think you haven't yet done or achieved on your journey.
Moaning = pull your vibe down = BIG potential for burnout.
Celebrating you and your growth = high vibe = good! (plus steering clear of burnout!)
6. Develop and uphold good healthy boundaries for your client readings.
This can be one of the biggest reasons for burnout - a total lack of or a need for stronger boundaries with your clients. However, this is one of the most important things that you can do not only for yourself but also for your clients. Yes, I said that, for your clients, too. You're not good to anyone as a medium when you don't have healthy boundaries in your work.
If you are actively doing readings you should be establishing and making sure that your clients are informed of your terms, policies and your reading preferences right up front before they even book a reading with you.
Many mediums feel as if they must say yes to everyone who comes their way seeking a reading. Some mediums look on this as good practice or even that this is what is expected of all mediums. That it's our job to be all things to all people because we're here to serve.
Please adjust your thinking on this one right now. You are not required to serve everyone - it is simply impossible to do that. Your job is to be you and attract the clients that are the best ones for you as a medium and what you do as a medium.
So establish your own terms - things like how much you charge for a reading, how long your readings will be, when you will (and won't) do readings, how you accept payment, etc. This is all very important information that you need to get clear on yourself or it will impact your business and eventually lead to burnout as the demands on your time and energy pile up.
Then, and most importantly you need to honor and uphold your boundaries. If you consistently choose not to honor your own boundaries you will attract clients that will be happy to take advantage of you.
Stick to your reading duration by wrapping your readings up on time (...no you don't have to go 15, 20 or 30 minutes longer than the length of your reading. You don't owe that to your clients.)
Set a price for your sessions that makes sense financially, feels good to you, that honors you, all you've invested into your journey, your time and that puts a smile on your face.
Then honor that price and charge it. You will have people who are looking for cheaper readings asking for discounts or even freebies. You may want to comply with this type of request on occasion or in certain circumstances. That's ok. But treating your business as if you have to comply because it's expected by certain people diminishes your worth.
And you are worth more than that.
If you are currently working towards practicing as a professional medium set yourself up on the right foot. Set your terms before you start your business and stick to your guns. You can go back and jiggle things later if necessary (and the right thing for you).
I hope these suggestions are helpful for y'all!
PS... I stopped writing and went ahead and took that bath. And you still got your weekly article! Amazing how, even with me doing a little self care that still happened... :)
What other little mistakes do new and developing mediums make that they don't have to?
Find out in my eBook: (Get the eBook free when you join my email list community!)
I want to share something with y'all that happened during a session I did this month.
But first let's back up four years.
I will call the woman who booked the 1:1 session, Susan. Susan and her mom came to me for a mediumship reading four years ago.
That reading four years ago was my first time reading for Susan who was quite open to the experience.
Her mom, ehhhh... not so much.
She was the cutest little lady...
..who said 'No' to just about everything I brought through for her from spirit.
There was the occasional "maybe..." Then a frown. Otherwise 'no' was the word of the day.
I pushed through and kept my focus on receiving from spirit. Surprisingly enough the information kept coming. It just wasn't hitting home for mom.
It was one of the most difficult mediumship reading experiences that I've ever had.
When all was said and done she had basically said 'no' to the whole reading...
Then, of course, when it was over I did the 'MRP' - the Mediumship Reading Postmortem.
How I could have done so badly?
Was there something wrong or off with my connection with spirit in this reading?
Why do I bother with this mediumship stuff anyway?
(...It's such a pain in the ass.)
Fast forward with me now to this month.
Susan is scheduled to come to my home office at 1:30 pm.
She arrived. With her mother in tow.
As an aside... before the session, during my preparation I could feel her mother 'coming in'. I actually wondered if her mother had transitioned and would be showing up during the reading in spirit.
No... it meant that her mother was coming with her for a reading in her physical body.
Susan had not disclosed this to me nor asked me if she could bring her mother with her when she booked.
I had a brief moment when I almost put a kibosh on the session. However, I remembered that spirit was in charge here and that mom had probably come for a reason. And hopefully that reason was not just to drive me batty or teach me some kind of (sadistic!) lesson.
As I was beginning my tune in process mom pipes up that she wants to tell me something.
I smiled and asked mom to please remain silent so I could do my thing. I was more professional than that sounds...
I shared my initial impressions with them both, then Susan pipes up and says:
"The reason we're came today is because mom wanted to come. She gave you a hard time when we saw you four years ago. What you don't know is that on the way home in the car that night everything you told her in that reading began to make sense. She realized by the time we got home that it ALL made sense, every last bit of it."
Mom smiled and said " I know I gave you a hard time. I just couldn't remember the details that you said until I had time to think about it all."
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
OK... so why am I sharing this with you?
Because so many of you dear beautiful folks on the mediumship development journey, reached out to me after reading my Psychic Stage Fright article and podcast expressing how much that article 'hit a nerve' as it were. So many of you deeply identified with what I had to say in that one.
Ok back to my story.
Did I let that experience four years ago with mom shake my confidence as a medium?
Did I berate myself for not having 'done better' in that reading?
Did I allow my confidence and trust in my connection to spirit waver?
Should I have?
Because my connection with spirit in that reading was solid.
Mom not being able to take what spirit had to give made no gosh darn difference to the whole gosh darn thing.
And, as it so happens... that was confirmed four years later.
Sometimes we mediums have a difficult moment in a reading or even a difficult entire reading like I did with Susan's mom where we feel like we are hitting our heads against a wall and getting nothing worth a fig from spirit for our client.
Here's the deal.
The 'success' of a mediumship reading does not rest on the medium's shoulders alone.
Let's face it, even the simplest of conversations happening entirely on the earth plane between two living people can be subject to potential misunderstandings.
Frankly, human to human communication is fraught with imperfection.
So why wouldn't we expect that would happen sometimes, maybe even more than sometimes with the spirit world as well?
...and cut our mediumship ass's a break when it does happen.
And allow that it may not be because of something we did or didn't do?
And not beat ourselves up so darn hard and carry it for days and days, etc. etc. etc...
Here's the thing: there are a number of factors that ALL contribute to the potential clarity of a reading.
One of the biggest factors - the one that happened in the reading I did four years ago - is that sometimes a reading simply needs to be processed or unpacked by the client.
After the reading has finished.
Out of the sight line and the presence of the medium who gave the reading.
Without the medium there to hear how well it went. And have it confirmed for her how solid her connection with spirit really was.
Because no one can confirm YOUR connection with spirit. Only you can reflect on that aspect of your mediumship.
Another factor is this: the client comes with her own expectations about what she considers to be valid information. And the communicating spirit has different ideas. You are stuck in the middle. That's how it goes. The sitter is not getting what she thinks she needs or wants to hear from the spirit. So she says 'no'.
People are funny. Many don't really even get what it is we mediums do. Even when they are coming to see us. Why would they? They're not mediums.
They come with all sorts of ideas, expectations, biases, beliefs, blocks and opinions.
You give them what spirit gives you. They don't recognize or understand the information. They say no, no, no then go away and think about it. Then go "Oh right I remember. That makes perfect sense now!"
But they don't always pick up the phone or email you to let YOU know.
I have had readings that didn't make much sense to me at all while they were happening. And then... OMG... it all falls into place three days later.
And I am guilty of not letting the medium know this fact.
Though I have to admit that I once did do what mom did to me to a medium who brought through a spirit I could make absolutely no sense during the reading.
I had a chance to think about it afterwards and, bam... I knew exactly who that spirit was.
I saw that medium again two years later and told her then that I knew after the reading who that spirit was.
(I have to tell you that, during the reading she was darn feisty and wouldn't take no for an answer. She had complete confidence in her connection with spirit.)
So there you go.
What's my point here?
Do your readings. Then let them go.
Nix the postmortems.
The messages from spirit are not yours to postmortem anyway. They are spirit's to give to their friends and loved ones. Through you.
Work always to strengthen your connection with spirit. Do your good work as a medium for others. Then move on.
Maybe, just maybe you'll find out how well a reading you thought "you" bombed went four years later.
And maybe you won't.
I suppose it could be said that there are as many ways to do mediumship as there are mediums doing mediumship.
However, there are several things that each mediumship reading, whether it is a one to one reading with a client or a platform or group demonstration, should include for there to be a sense of completion about the whole darn thing.
I'll talk about what those things are shortly.
First I want to talk about, what many discover along their mediumship development journey, as primarily two 'styles' or approaches to mediumship, commonly referred to as the British style and the American style.
Now to be clear when I am speaking about mediumship I am talking about the kind of mediumship that has the medium connecting with the spirit(s) of a friend, loved one, acquaintance or ancestor that is known (and sometimes not known) or in some way connected to the person who is getting the reading.
This could be long lost Uncle Billy, a childhood best friend, mom, a great great grandfather or the neighbor down the street - in the spirit world. There is some sort of connection that has happened either personally, arm's length or ancestrally.
I am not talking here about receiving messages from spirit guides, fairies, angels, aliens, etc.
I'm talking about straight up old fashioned, "nothing needs to be changed about it to make it mod, hip or cool" mediumship. Just so's we're clear on that one.
Back to the two primary styles...
British style of mediumship:
The British style of mediumship is evidentially based - which is to say that it hinges on receiving evidence, usually quiet detailed, from the spirit for identification purposes.
Some British mediumship teachers consider the delivery of evidence itself to be 'the message'. The focus of the British style is proving, through evidential details, the survival of the human personality beyond the physical transition known as death. British mediums will often consider anything else that comes through - other than evidential details - a bonus. They tend to keep the focus on the evidential details.
There is nothing quite like watching a really good British medium do a platform demonstration. British mediums take their time for the most part meandering from piece of evidence to piece of evidence painting a picture, as it were of the spirit, and,in a way, almost painting them back to life.
It will often take a British or British trained medium upwards of 30 minutes to do platform demonstration.
American Style of mediumship:
You never quite know what you're going to get with American style mediums. If they are British trained then their focus will include evidential information. If they are not then... you get what you get.
The pace of American style mediumship, especially during a public demonstration of mediumship, is often faster paced than the more meandering British style. Think Theresa Caputo, for example.
A pitfall of the American style is that the medium will sometimes - or always depending on the medium - deliver information from spirit guides or fairies or angels or something other than a loved one or friend (see above for my clarification) and consider that to be mediumship.
Again, generally speaking and depending on how and by whom the medium has been trained, the American style can be more haphazard than the British style.
Ok so having said all of that let's get back to talking about the things that make a well rounded and complete mediumship reading and the question of whether a message is necessary or not.
A well rounded mediumship reading includes:
Here is an article that goes into detail on all of the above.
I have sat through many a mediumship demonstration and a number of mediumship readings where the medium has brought through basic identifiers and evidence, then the medium gets stuck in a loop of sorts and keeps bringing through identifiers and more evidence. Then he / she ends things there.
Consider this perhaps silly but hopefully fun analogy of the above:
To get a message to your loved one you have to go through an operator - a medium as it were - rather than speak directly to that person.
The operator asks you to give her some basic information to describe who you are to your friend so you do.
"I'm a woman, 5'6" tall, 48 years old, with brown hair"
She passes that on to your friend. To better identify you she asks for more detail.
"I have three children. I'm crazy about pepperoni pizza and amusement parks are my favorite play time destination. I was born in Somerset, England. I have an elderly Irish Setter named Charlie.
She passes that onto your friend. She then asks for a little more detail to seal the identification deal.
"My friend and I traveled to Papua New Guinnea together in 1971. It was during the school summer break. I met the boyfriend who was to become my husband on that trip. Our husbands are best friends.
She passes that on to your friend and bingo, there is no doubt in your friend's mind who you are.
The operator then ends the communication.
Feels kind of weird doesn't it. You didn't get a chance to actually SAY something to your friend. You were only given the opportunity to identify yourself then... bye bye. It was over.
During a reading, once your sitter knows beyond the shadow of a doubt who are your talking with is it really necessary to deliver a message from the speaker?
The basics identifiers help people validate that you have connected with a spirit that they know.
Evidence helps to strengthen this validation even further.
The message, however, is the GIFT.
It is THE reason friends, loved ones, ancestors, your neighbor down the street and anyone else in spirit who shows up during a mediumship reading has come.
That is why they have come.
In your mediumship readings once you have the basics and the evidence in place always ask the spirit for their message before you end the reading with that spirit.
Because they will always have one.
It may be heartfelt. It might be hilarious. It might be something else altogether.
But is will always be the HEART of the reading.
Consider with me now these three scenarios:
#1: It's Tuesday 9 am. You've got a 1:1 mediumship reading with a client scheduled for 2 pm. You start feeling tired and listless and are strongly considering canceling the reading because of this. You hum and haw. And haw and hum. You end up canceling because, hey... you're not feeling up to it...
#2: You're on your way out the door to a public mediumship demonstration at which you'll be a part of a group of mediums delivering messages from spirit. All of a sudden you get a headache. "Oh dear" you think "Why am I feeling this way? Is spirit trying to tell me something?" You succumb to the headache, stay home, put your feet up and watch re-runs of The Gilmore Girls. Your headache goes away very quickly, thank goodness.
#3: Your mediumship readings are usually just fine however you had a difficult client yesterday and it felt more like pulling teeth than being with spirit. You consider clearing your reading schedule for the rest of the week. Or maybe the whole month...
Has a similar version of any of these situations ever happen to you...?
What's going on here?
Are you being guided by spirit? Your guides?
Or are you experiencing PSF?
PSF is my short form for Psychic Stage Fright.
Every psychic and medium, whether she is new to exploring her abilities or is a seasoned professional who has done thousands of readings during her career experiences PSF in some way, shape or form at some time or another.
And... even though they experience it - some even quite often - many seasoned psychic mediums won't even talk about it. As if it would diminish them or make them look bad to other developing mediums in some way.
So... today, I' going to talk about it.
Because it's something that all of us psychics and mediums need to deal with on our journey and in our work. And the more we know how to identify PSF and understand how and why it comes up the better able we are to deal with it.
PSF is fear that primarily manifests itself in the form of resistance. And it can be a tough one to get a handle on.
Sometimes you'll just know that you're feeling fearful around giving a reading and be able to address that head on.
Other times PSF will be disguised as a kind of resistance that you'll easily be able to rationalize and justify as a feeling or urge or even as possible guidance from spirit that you think you should act on and not do, say, a particular reading or demonstration event or see a certain client.
PSF will often, but not always, manifest on the heels of a particularly difficult reading or mediumship demonstration or after having received a negative or critical comment from a client during or after a reading you've done for them.
It often coincides with actions you are taking such as going out into the world to live in your truth as a psychic medium, deciding to go pro, or even choosing to raise the rates that you charge for your readings. Actions that have you stepping out and forward on your path as a psychic and medium.
It is usually PSF simmering beneath surface actions like canceling readings or not showing up at a mediumship demonstration. PSF can be so unconscious that you don't even realize that you are actually acting out of PSF.
How , then, do you recognize that you might be experiencing PSF?
Here are seven fairly common signs:
1. You feel too tired or busy or disgruntled or unable to help or deal with people and find yourself canceling, rescheduling or avoiding doing readings altogether.
2. You think you are inadequate, not skilled enough or unprepared as a psychic or medium. You think that you need to keep bumping up and improving your abilities before you can go out there and 'perform'. This usually means going to lots and lots of classes and workshops to get better at mediumship but still thinking you are not good enough to sit with clients to do actual readings.
3. You question whether you are even psychic or able to connect with spirit. This usually ramps up just prior to scheduled readings or demonstrations, or just after your readings.
4. You fear things like: not getting anything during a reading; cheating your client because you are charging money; that you'll be wrong with what you see; or even that you're doing something you probably shouldn't be doing altogether by doing psychic or mediumship readings.
5. You avoid soliciting readings or calling back or responding to people who are interested in having a reading with you.
6. You find yourself apologizing for what you are seeing during a reading, holding back what you are getting out of fear of being wrong or facing disapproval from your client, asking your client too many questions and / or asking or for too much feedback or validation during your readings.
7. You find yourself post-reading obsessing about how you did, how you should have done things differently, feeling fearful about doing more readings and / or even thinking you were so incapable that your should give your client her money back.
Having even one of the above signs means that, yes, you are experiencing PSF.
See what I mean when I say that we ALL get PSF???
As with most things in life PSF has a spectrum and the signs described above will be different for each psychic medium ranging from low to high on that spectrum.
PSF is often accompanied by negative thoughts that will morph into excuses and justifications for your actions - or inactions - that seem quite logical and well thought out at the time. You will feel quite justified caving into your PSF even rationalizing it as being guided by spirit or your guides. Or that you really ARE tired, not feeling well, unskilled, not very psychic etc. etc...
How do you get a handle on PSF?
Greet that bugaboo PSF with love and understanding.
Know that it can rear its (ugly) head before, during and even after readings. Just about any time really.
Rather than trying to side step or rationalize it recognize this basic truth: that resistance to your gifts and doing readings and demonstrations is usually cyclical and, well... never ending. You don't really ever get over it. Basically you will always be dealing with it in one form or another or to one degree or another. That's normal, natural and totally OK!
Just like stage fright for a seasoned Broadway actor it's an integral part of what you have chosen to do as a psychic medium.
And know that...
There is only ONE way to deal with it.
Yup. Only ONE way! And that is...
...don't let it stop you! Work through PSF by doing another reading as quickly as you can. Ultimately pushing yourself through the fear and resistance by continuing to move forward is the only way to deal with PSF.
You can fall down into the mud, never get out and continue to find excuses not to do your readings or platform demonstrations or you can recognize the PSF cycle and keep going forward through the fear and resistance.
Ok, Clare - I can hear you saying - sometimes I might actually feel sick and tired or unable to do my best in a reading or for a client. I might not even want to work with a particular client. How do I know the difference between this and PSF?
Yes... every now and then you genuinely will not feel up to doing a reading or demonstration. But this is a rare thing. If you can see, by looking honestly at yourself, a pattern of behavior of canceling readings or feeling fussy about who you work with, or any of the things I have mentioned above, then you are dealing with PSF. No doubt about it in my books.
Oh and... another reason that you may find yourself often not wanting to work with certain clients is likely because you are not communicating clearly who you are and what it is you do and therefore are frequently attracting the wrong type of client for you. I'll leave that there for now for you to reflect on what that might mean for you and will write a future blog post on this topic. :)
Another way to identify your resistance over a rational, well made choice is to consider how you initially felt when you decided to do the appointment or demonstration. Were you feeling good about it overall? Then did you start to drag your feet a day or two or hours before the reading. If so.... PSF. Push through. You'll be glad you did.
Here is the way that I deal with PSF:
I immediately tune into the reading or demonstration request to get my very first impression. If it's a yes I trust that and go with it. And I stay with it. I push through any PSF that may come up prior to the reading or event and just do it. And everything is always fine!
And if things don't go well which is next to never in my experience, then I consider that there is something for me in it that I was meant to experience on my journey. Sometimes you've gotta have some poopy experiences in order to stretch, learn and grow.
The same is true when I tune in to a reading request and sense that this is not the reading, session or client for me. I totally honor that information, pass on that reading and move on. You don't have to accept every reading request that is made of you, either. Centering yourself and using your skills will help you greatly with this decision. Also, as I've already mentioned, being really clear with how you describe your services and not being wishy washy about who you are and what you do will help you a great deal with this, too.
So whether your PSF shows up:
...do yourself, your gifts and your abilities the honor of pushing through.
Make the choice to smile and bear a very natural part of being a psychic medium and continue forward ho! Say to yourself (and the world!) "I may feel afraid, but I'm going to keep going!"
Push past your fear, get more readings under your belt, keep honing your skills and your confidence will grow!
That's your ass kicking for today with lots of love from me...!
F-bomb warning.... (that means I use the word fuck a few times in this post. If offensive to you you might want to stop reading now... thx.)
Clairvoyance... the gift of psychic sight.
We've all got it.
Yes, even you folks over there who think you don't.
Your clairvoyance is the seat of all those images, pictures, shapes, colors, etc. that spirit sends you during your mediumship readings.
News flash: those images come from spirit. Not your imagination. They may happen in your imagination but they are being sent from spirit.
Thinking those images are coming from the imagination is part of why some mediums think they are not clairvoyant. They don't trust these images are coming from spirit so they completely disregard them.
A big no no...
However, it is a pretty common thing for a medium who is clairvoyant to actually fuck up a reading even when she is well aware she is clairvoyant and is actually using her clairvoyance.
How does she fuck things up? By not describing what it is she is seeing.
Clairvoyance, my dear developing mediums is simply this: describing visual information.
That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
If you do anything more (or less!) than this you have stopped using your clairvoyance. Period. Full Stop. You are full on into doing something else altogether.
It goes like this:
You are doing a mediumship reading and you see (with your clairvoyance ) this: the picture of a moose, the color red and a maple leaf.
There is then a pause in the visual flow.
You think "My goodness, what does all this mean..."?
Then you think "I've got it!"
Then you say (with your mouth): "I sense that you or your grandfather in spirit have a connection with Canada or that you might possibly be taking a trip to somewhere in Canada very soon."
(Red, maple leaves and moose - what is more Canadian than that????)
Well there went your opportunity to stay in your clairvoyance and just describe what you were seeing.
Your sitter is like: Oh, ok... (a bit baffled because he has no Canadian connection nor any plan to go there. And... now he starts wondering if he should. )
When... if you had simply described what you were seeing your sitter would now be in tears because he and his grandfather used to collect pictures of moose and actual maple leaves then put them into a red photo album. It was something they loved to do together.
Furthermore, with the way you handled it you may never know, and your sitter won't either, what am amazing job that his grandfather in spirit did conveying that to you through your clairvoyance.
Because, you stepped out of your clairvoyance and, well... fucked it up.
And, no. This is NOT claircognizance at work. More on that in another blog post. For now suffice it to say that claircognizance works differently and this is not an example of how it does. Stay tuned for that one.
So what have we learned here today?
That, clairvoyance is simply receiving then describing, exactly as you saw it, visual information from the spirit world.
Not interpretation of that information.
Not thinking you know what it all means.
Nope. Just describing what you get.
Ass kicked again. With lots of love.
Want more? (of course you do!)
Hi, I'm Clare...
...and I'm a mentor whose passion is helping budding mediums go from feeling weird, worried and overwhelmed to feeling “wow this is so damn cool!”
I write helpful (so I’m told), no holds barred, BS free articles, share guided meditations, coach and lovingly kickass here at claremcnaul.com.
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